More Important Than White Fragility: White Rage

 OK, time for my monthly post lol. As you can guess by the title, I have found a more useful book for you to read about racism, and it's called White Rage by Carol Anderson. I haven't actually finished it yet, but within about 5 words, I was already drawn in. The book is one laundry list of "legal" action that white people have taken to preserve their superiority over the African American starting with the end of our civil war. I think laundry list is an unfair term because the book is brilliantly organized, but I hope it conveys the sheer volume of crimes committed against Black humanity. The presidents that we were taught "weren't so bad" or "were basically good guys" sided with Trump-esque politicians who wrote or manipulated laws to keep Black people in their "place". From incarcerating legally "emancipated" Black folks for vagrancy to massacring Black folks in their homes to interrupting the Great Migration by pulling Black people with tickets off trains to refusing to allow Black people to receive education, the real character of the white person has been put into words.

The most interesting takeaway for me so far has been the title, White RAGE. Like most of us, I was taught to see the KKK as a mob of angry, raging white men who ran around in white sheets setting Black people on fire. Then Martin Luther King had a dream and Rosa Parks sat on a bus, etc. But an underlying theme of this country, and therefore this book, is that white people become ENRAGED when they see Black people elevating themselves, and will do anything they can to ensure that Black people stop elevating themselves. Racism against Black people has been made legal for centuries and it's about time we recognized that.

Oh, and were you thinking that you had nothing to do with the past? That none of this is your fault because you didn't know this was going on, you weren't taught about this before and you think this system is vile and you reject it? Sorry, but there's no jail pass for the white person's conscience. Whether you like it or not, you have social and economic power that you do not deserve, and it's up to you to figure out how to redistribute it. 

I, for one, would love to see colleges and universities admit exclusively Black people for one year. Oof, I just HEARD your jaws clench! But think about it - companies are seriously claiming they can't hire Black people because they can't find "qualified" Black candidates. Oh, and did you think that there might not be enough qualified Black students to get into all these colleges? Well, what percentage of these Black students might become k-12 teachers, and make sure that Black children are not cheated out of an education like they have been for centuries? I get it. It's easier to hate all the Chinese international students who are making it harder for your little Timmy to get into Harvard than it is to destigmatize community college, or to raise the minimum/working class wage to something we can actually live on. So it would also be easier to continue to say "look, 6% of our freshman class was Black this year, up from 4% last year!! We're so excited, we put up a Black Lives Matter banner!" than it is to admit at least 99% Black students. 

So since you probably didn't like my idea, tell me what ideas you have. I'm not white, so I'm really not a direct cause of the problem. Asians do, of course, have our own complicated role in racism and anti-Black sentiment, but we can talk about that after you've told me what power you plan on giving up to the people your ancestors stole it from.

Thoughts on Self Education

I've been watching my white friends talk about all the anti-racism books they've read recently, or are going to read soon - primarily on social media. On the one hand I'm jealous. Farm workers don't have a lot of spare time or energy for reading! I am also impressed - a lot of you can now quote people I've only seen on the best-seller lists, and this is a pleasant change from 5 years ago, when I was struggling at Clark because nobody wanted to acknowledge the volume of racism my peers and I were dealing with. 

I do, however, worry about how many people seem to be reading so they can check the books off a list. I am, of course, purely speculating. But as a person of color, you'll have to pardon me for being suspicious that some white people are really just hankering for confirmation that they are not racist without doing the unpleasant work of changing their hearts and minds. 

As a teacher, we always make learning objectives for every lesson. I think it would be cool if people started approaching at least some* books with the goal of learning something. For example, I started reading Just Mercy to learn more about our criminal justice system. I started reading The Hate U Give because I wanted to have a Black perspective on the murder of an innocent Black youth. And/or, if you're really not a fan of school, I still encourage you to make time to reflect on what you learned. For example, after I read The Hate U Give I actually journaled for a couple weeks about how many terrible assumptions I had been taught and accepted about Black families, and how glad I was that the Asian and Black characters decided to stand in solidarity with each other (fun fact: that is NOT portrayed in the movie. Go read the book!). Learning is usually more fun and fruitful if you do it with a friend, and depending on the situation, it can be a great way to start conversations about race with your children, or somewhat racist family member that you're on good terms with, or... whoever! 

I do say "sometimes" because I think it is important to normalize reading literature by and about people of color for enjoyment, not just education. But keeping that in mind, I think most of us Americans are still in the education phase (which is not a negative judgement), and processing what you learn is an important part of making hte lessons stick!
Happy reading!

What Can You Do Part 1

Hello! I tried to fix the formatting of the last post so that you didn't have to scroll too much to read the text that I had copied and pasted from a document of a different form... I hope it's easier to read now! 

When I wrote my talk, I was careful not to include action steps because I really am serious - I want people to think about what you can do with your own brain. But since I have something to say about pretty much anything, I have decided to share my thoughts on what you can, in fact, do. There are, however, two conditions:

1. Do not tell me that this isn't good enough. We as individuals can't individually fix the system, but we need to start somewhere. So... here's somewhere.
2. Do not tell me why you aren't doing it (if you aren't doing it). It's OK if you can't do everything you read on the internet. You probably shouldn't, anyways. But if you have the time to tell me you aren't doing it, you probably had the time to just do it.

With that in mind, my first suggestion is to call your senators and politicians regularly. At NEYM Sessions, I heard from Diane Randall herself - leader of FCNL - that our politicians do, in fact, like to hear from us - the humble and busy citizens. So we should write to them and/or call them regularly. I admit that I have used work as an excuse for being too busy to do anything, but I'm trying to make time to call or write to one politician once every other week. And when I get into that groove, I'm going to try to make it once a week.

Some of you may have seen posts on social media asking that we call to arrest the cops that killed Breonna Taylor, and I think that is essential. And I don't think there's anything wrong with continually calling and asking. But as much as I want justice for Ms. Taylor, I also want to see more money spent on education and food for children and other social services. So I am trying to call my politicians about a variety of topics that matter year-round in addition to the daily crises (police murder victims, a crumbling post office, etc). 

If this doesn't seem like enough, then I want to know what's stopping you from running for government office yourself!

Spoken on the Floor of Sessions

As mentioned, New England Yearly Meeting 2020 was focused on social justice with emphasis on anti-racism this year. Several individuals were asked to talk about our work in activism at various meetings for business, and was one of them! I have heard talk of these ministries being recorded and published somewhere, but I think everyone on sessions staff is recovering (as they deserve to). I am putting the words that I spoke here for you to read in the meantime. Most of you know me and can imagine my dramatic public speaking. 

Sorry it's so long, but I was asked to speak for 10 minutes (I don't think I took that long? But anyways)...!

 ...........

Non-violence is an important value of Quakerism. It always has been. So I feel like it’s an important thing to address today. I want to start by sharing a quote from Coretta Scott King; I want to publicly acknowledge Johnny Williams from Mt Toby Friends Meeting for bringing this to my attention!

In a speech in 1967 she said, “I must remind you that starving a child is violence. Neglecting school children is violence. Punishing a mother and her family is violence. Discrimination against a working man is violence. Ghetto housing is violence. Contempt for poverty is violence.” 

Back in 2016, I participated in City Year Boston; an Americorps program. I was placed in a trope-ic underfunded school full of poor people, immigrants, undocumented immigrants and limited resources, and I would describe my role as “extra body placed there to mitigate the chaos and run an after-school program.” For all you Bostonians, I was at the Hennigan K-8 in Jamaica Plain. This experience was rewarding but intense, and I will be drawing from it now to illustrate some of Mrs. King’s points. 

Since I was working in a school, it seems fair that I address her point about neglecting school children first. Most of my role as a City Year (a weird noun, but it’s what we used) was to work with a classroom teacher. Unfortunately, I was placed with one of those teachers who really need to retire. I did get the sense that she was a caring, interesting teacher at some point in her career, but by the time I met her, she was barely either of those things. My memory of the first day is that we sat around and introduced ourselves and she passed out one worksheet and then spent the next three hours on her phone. The majority of the year was spent like this; she would acknowledge the class when they showed up, and take attendance. If we were lucky, she would pass out something like a worksheet. Then she would retreat to her desk and sit on her phone and… within one to twenty minutes, my students were all bored and entertaining themselves in non-academic ways. Naturally the noise level would rise, and she would yell at the easy targets - the Black girls and the boys with ADHD - before returning to her phone. If she taught a lesson, it was often full of misinformation. Like one time, she said that the prefix “im” means to stop. So to migrate means to move around, and to immigrate means to stop moving and stay where you are. And she would forget which students didn’t understand English, and get mad at them for not listening. If, of course, she made the time to interact with them. 

There were other caring teachers in the building who were good at their jobs, and I tried to follow their example by teaching lessons of my own when I could. But when I tried to advocate for myself and my students, City Year told me I was not in an ideal situation and I should just do small-group sessions with a few students, the administration made it clear that they couldn’t do anything because of her tenured status and the teacher herself made it clear that the real problem was that our students’ mothers were crackheads. 

Several mothers actually showed up over the course of the year to investigate the lack of learning. Sometimes they made appointments; sometimes they showed up at the door. None of them seemed remotely high on anything. My teacher abused her power as the white teacher talking to these Latina and Haitian and Somalian moms, downplaying their concerns, telling them their children (who usually functioned as interpreters) were making good progress. And then telling me afterwards that these concerned mothers were just crackheads. Punishing a mother and her children is, as previously stated, violence. 

I want to remind you that in 2016, Trump got elected. I imagine this was a troubling time for most of you. I would like you to know that this was a terrifying time for the immigrant families in my school. The day after the election, I remember walking downstairs into the cafeteria to greet students, and being met with chaos. Usually, large groups of children sound like noise. That morning, the noise was full of fear and tears. Not first-day-of-school tears, desperate tears. A few younger children were refusing to let go of their parents, and school staff were floating around presumably trying to reassure people. I remember one of my students waving me over and saying hi. Normally her dad would walk her and her two younger brothers to school. That day, he was sitting on the bench next to a woman I’d never seen before. “Is that your mom?” I asked my student. She said yes. She also said, “Normally she doesn’t have time to come to school, but today she thinks we should be home packing in case we get deported later this week.” I was rattled. How much of this fear was related to families being split up due to deportation? Then, the mother started speaking to my student in Spanish, which I took as my cue to leave them and rejoin the frenzy of students yelling “Ms. Lindo, we lost!” and “Our president is racist now! How could this happen?”. 

And in January, almost immediately after inauguration, some of my students’ fears were realized when Trump passed his Muslim ban. While the news cycle blew up with the story of the MIT student from Iran, my Somalian students - and probably many others - were cut off from the family members who had not immigrated. Their stories flew under the radar. Thankfully we didn’t lose any of our students, but I know the issue kept everyone on edge. I am not familiar with our country’s history of deportation from the 60s, but after my witness that year I think that ripping families apart would be a good addition to Mrs. King’s list of systemic violences. 

I’ve been thinking about non-violence this summer. “I only support the non-violent protests!” has become a refrain for my liberal white friends here in New England. We have the Civil Rights Movement as a model for how to gently insist on having rights, and it worked reasonably well, so it makes sense to like it. I am including myself in this “we” because I was raised and socialized by white people, and I do think nonviolent protests play an important role in our society! 

But I was drawn to this quote from Barrington Dunbar as it appeared on the NEYM instagram page the other day: 

“Black people living in the ghettos of American cities… cannot hear Friends who profess the way of love and nonviolence, but yet maintain a destructive silence in obvious situations of social injustice.” 

So what do we mean when we say “I only support the non-violent protests”? Do we mean “I am uncomfortable with the images of buildings on fire” or do we mean “I am ready to dismantle systemic violence”? 

I know the systemic violence is overwhelming. Mrs. King’s list was long, and I just added to it! I left that City Year feeling utterly discouraged because 22-year-old me could not make up for what my students deserved. But it is empire that wants us to feel discouraged and it is empire that wants us to stop trying because we haven’t done enough yet. It is in our power to stop listening to empire and start listening to each other. We have heard ministry and non-violent activism from Friends among us this week in feeding the hungry, providing for local communities, changing unjust government and so much more. So I ask, what are you willing to do? This is a big question, and it will take time to answer. I encourage us to sit with it and let Spirit and all the resources you have heard this week guide you to find your answer.

A Brief Check-In

Hello. I'm very sorry for my absence. I am moving in 2 days and I am also preparing for the NEYM Sessions gathering which also starts in 2 days. While working on the farm. And slowly sweating to death. If you haven't registered for sessions yet... well, it might be too late but I would really love it if you did. This year is going to be on zoom, which will be weird but also cool because there are different sessions at various times of the day so there should be some time for you. Plus also, I am speaking at the meeting for business on Saturday the 8th, so if you like hearing me open my mouth and you want to hear my personal call to action, you should sign up! If not... I'll probaby post my talk (or an abridged version; it's supposed to be 10 minutes) here anyways.

OK, off to go write said talk. It's been a long time since I've had to actually structure what I'm writing... Wish me luck!

The plan is for me to write more regularly after this week of sessions!

This post is sponsored by Lots Of Ice Cream.

Recommended Reading: White Fragility

Hello! Sorry I have been so absent. It is July, I've had coworkers out with non-covid illnesses and injuries and I am just a tad fried after our latest heat wave. I am trying to write more often, but as you know I'm just full of excuses not to! 

I finished reading the book White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo pretty recently, and I will say I learned some things. I have been on the business end of white fragility more times than I could ever count, and it's had a pretty damaging impact on my life. So hearing a white person come out and label things that have been said to me as "defense mechanism used to maintain white superiority, often in the form of comfort" was like drinking ice water after spending 5 hours in a tomato-growing greenhouse. She cites a lot of the things white people say in response to "being accused of racism" (a lot of times, thinking they're being accused is the first half of the defense mechanism) and then patiently explains why they are harmful to people of color. 
She also gives some examples of how to react when someone tells you that you offended them (or another person of color). You know - how to apologize without drowning everyone in white guilt. 

My other reaction was general aggravation. When someone says something racist, even if it was unintentional and "not that racist", they either get away with it or they throw a hissy fit because now they're "accused of being racist." And then white people have to hold their hand and say "it's OK, I know you didn't mean it that way but this is the impact you're having." What if, when someone said something racist to me, I got to throw a hissy fit? And instead of saying "geez could you stop overreacting?", what if people said "I realize that hurt your feelings now, and I'm sorry and I'll try not to say it again"? Huh! The amount of hand-holding and feelings-protecting that white people demand is absolutely mind-boggling to me, and frankly I hope that as I progress into adulthood, I never need that much coddling!

There are a few limitations to the book. The author is evidently an anti-racism/bias educator who has clearly spent a lot of time with workplaces in which one or two people are Black and everyone else is white. I would definitely want to handle a lot of these comments in professional settings differently from how I would handle comments coming from my frineds or family. I have also noticed a bigger culture difference between being the only person of color in the room vs. having 5 people of color in the room, even if white people are in the majority. When I've been the only person of color I've been allowed to think that race doesn't matter, until someone says something ridiculous ("I'm not trying to be racist, but I just hate how all the Asian students just push their way onto the bus without even looking up from their phones. I mean, they're so entitled!"), at which point I tend to feel really isolated. When there are more people of color, even if we come from different backgrounds, there is still some degree of understanding and solidarity. And hey - when there are more than four people of color, you might have a real support group! (and then you have to tell everyone to read Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria by Beverly Tatum) (actually, you should go read that as soon as you're done reading this blog).

Anyways - I know that a lot of people have been doing anti-racism work in their personal lives and already know why you shouldn't say things like "I work hard to earn my way through life so I don't understand why these people should just get handouts" but I feel like a lot of said white people need reminders or examples of how to kindly explain racism to their fellow white peers. I cringe whenever white people sassily announce that the thing their white peer just said was racist because xyz; as we all know, anger drives people away, and white people have not earned the right to be as angry about racism in the same way as someone who has been victimized by it their whole life. So while I recommend you fill your reading list by books written by authors of color, I think White Fragility is a decent book to add to your list. 
-Anna

Universities as Racial Institutions

Today I am going to share 10 racist things I had to deal with in my first college; Clark University. When I was processing them in 2013-2015, I was met with: "ugh, not again... do you ever talk about anything else? You really need to get over it. It isn't good for you to dwell on these things. People are learning, give them time. I don't believe anyone said that to you! They probably didn't mean it like that." And, the one time I stood up for myself, "well, you didn't have to be so rude about it."

This exercise has three purposes. First, to all my white readers who are saying you are ready to listen to people of color, we are going to test and develop that skill. You will read through this incomplete list without yelling out the first (or second or third) thing that pops into your mind. Then, if you're ready to progress beyond listening to people of color, you are going to leave a supportive comment that you wish your newly woke self had said 5 years ago. Or, if you don't understand why something offended you, you can leave a correctly worded question.

The second purpose is to make you realize that no matter how much colleges and universities want you to think they care about racial diversity, they'll put our bodies on their brochures and turn a blind eye when the white students and faculty damage our psyches.

The third purpose is that I (theoretically) get to feel heard and supported after a pretty traumatic time in my life.

1. In the fall of 2014, the Black Student Union published a list of demands. White students everywhere, incuding roommates, proceeded to call them pushy, unreasonable, demanding and uppity. Yeah - UPPITY.

2. At least two demands were centered around some scandal involving the coach of the men's basketball team. My white girl roommates said that this was ridiculous, because the head of the athletics department was a kind, trusting perosn that they would feel going to with any problem and if the Black guys on the men's basketball team didn't feel like they could talk to her about the racism they were supposedly experiencing, it was their own fault.

3. Another demand was that either people of color or Black get a resource room/safe space in the fancy new student union which was being built. Many white students complained that this was segregation, and some felt like they would need to designate a safe space for white people, too.

4. When I was sitting by myself in the mostly empty cafeteria at 7am on a weekend, two white girls walked by loudly asking why all the Asians never made an effort to integrate into the rest of the student body by always sitting together and talking in other languages. This was the time I stood up for myself by saying that English was my native language so I understood and did not appreciate what she said. And then I informed her that she was probably the reason no international student would want to "integrate" into Clark's society.

5. In the beginning of all three fall semesters, at least three people approached me asking some version of "do, you, know, where, you, are, going??!!!??!?!?!?" in THAT tone of voice.

6. People complained forever about how they were paying a lot of money to go to this school but they kept on getting TAs with thick accents they couldn't understand. So how could they possibly be expeted to learn anything?!

7. People complained endlessly about international students who talked too loudly on the phones in common areas (um, sometimes international calls get worse signal?) or kept them up at weird hours (um, most of their families lived in different time zones?) and were only here because the university wanted their money anyways (um, you're welcome that international students will keep these institutions running so that you can get financial aid?).

8. Clark was in a neighborhood of working/middle class Latino immigrants. Depending who they were talking to, students were either terrified of being robbed at night or acted like they were tough now because they were in a ghetto neigborhood. And of course these people just needed to be saved, especially by education and psychology students.

9. Back to the birth of Black Lives Matter, students used protests as an excuse to get out of class and not enact actual social change (this was brilliantly covered in The Hate U Give).

10. And of course, any incident of racism where no one got physically hurt or killed was subject to be diminished with "well, at least nobody got hurt or killed."

All right, there you have it: racism in universities. I overheard a lot of these comments from more than one white person. Take all the time you need to consider how my experience at college was different from yours or your children's, from my academics to just trying to hang out with friends in the cafeteria. It is worth noting that I never received a microaggression from a profesor, although as a white-acting Asian I am not the person who will receive the worst racism has to offer. And I was serious about wanting to hear your responses.

Thanks for reading! -Anna